Journey

Whoever said, "The first thing you do is cry" was right. When I got the word that, “Yes, the lump in your breast is cancer. And, yes, it is recommended that you have a mastectomy!” all I could do was cry. Those days were difficult, gathering information, talking with friends and family, making decisions about surgery, possible reconstruction and chemotherapy. But I did survive. My life has gone on. In fact, it has blossomed in new and unexpected ways.

For women who have led productive, giving, meaningful lives, breast cancer is a shock, a jarring, a deeply emotional life event. While there is no doubt that breast cancer is a diminishment, it can be a turning point to open one to avenues not yet explored. It can lead us to see our lived from new angles. It can invite us to slow down and frame the giftedness of each moment and give thanks. It can literally turn us around to reevaluate and make some life choices. But this is the long journey of it all.

As one stands at the doorway of this event, she goes through all the emotions of death and dying. Not that this is her time to die. But, as with all major life changes, the “death and dying” emotions sweep through one. Sometimes they take on a life of their own, shooting out at anyone near her. So expect to find yourself in denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and hopefully acceptance.

You should be able to count on your friends and family to be able to handle your “moods,” but not always. But for yourself, I encourage you to experience each emotion and name it. The naming helps tame the emotion, to keep it in perspective. I encourage you to feel each emotion, to know it well, to let it serve you. For each emotion will serve you.

Following I would like to share some scriptures that helped me through the acknowledging of and befriending each emotion. If a line or word deeply moves you, hold it in your heart and repeat it during your day. Walk in faith. Walk in the light of God’s love.